Let the “Survivalist” Exploitation Continue: Doomsday Preppers Episode 6 Review

That didn’t take long. The Discovery Channel premiered its first episode of Doomsday Bunkers last week (fun fact: Both shows had the word ‘bullets’ in the name of their premieres). I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a lower form of life on this planet than the opportunistic parasite network producer. For that reason I imagine it won’t be long till we get even more granular spin offs in this new doomsday genre: Roadkill Kitchen, Real Housewives of Bartertown, how about MTVCribs: Bunkerz? Needless to say, Doomsday Bunkers has an arguably more practical format with less schlock, but like Preppers, spends more time sensationalizing and less informing. Shocker!

I’ve got to acknowledge that this week’s Preppers episode was probably the best of the bunch, particularly Atlanta’s Mike Mester, who seems to be one of the most intelligent and reasonable folks presented so far on the show. The Mester family seems to have a great balance of prep skills and retention of humanity. Mester doesn’t seem to attract eye-rolling from his family by engaging with hilarious overcommitment like the deer hide-clad stick sharpener Michael Douglas from Episode 4, nor does he foolishly put his loved ones in danger like Tim Ralston and his stubby thumb. Doing little things like having plans for each family member, adding loyal guard dogs, training his family to use firearms at a legit firing range and reuse/recycle of paper goods to create long burning briquettes for heat was pretty cool. The family seems on board with his plans and I thought it was commendable for the ‘experts’ to recommend that he engage his neighbors and community – this is exactly the kind of guy I would love to have living next door, and thats the tip of the iceberg to make a prepared community, which is leaps and bounds more beneficial than a prepared household. Above all, Mike just doesn’t seem to have the same slightly wacko disposition as the others and he commanded my attention and respect, from one human being to another.

Last weeks post created some conversation on Reddit, with some who claimed that it was unfair to label preppers as crazy; the show is produced and edited to exaggerate these eccentric personalities to make the show entertaining. Obvious point is obvious, but I want to reiterate my point: it should be more important to be informative than entertaining. Nothing much is hanging in the balance when we watch Hoarders or Ace of Cakes – the repercussions of false information in the survivalist context is potentially deadly. That being said, It was pretty interesting to go from Mike Mester to Preston White, who is afraid of the bogeyman prospects of Fukushima fallout in America. The former seemed lucid and practical while the latter seemed to be have a closet full of tinfoil hats. So, really — is there a casting director getting fired for allowing average dad Mike Mester into this menagerie of maniacs or is it more likely that theres a predisposition for these characters to be a little crazy, or maybe just more willing to let producers lead them into it?

In the weeks since the show aired, theres been more than a few interviews with show characters who have expressed frustration in the way they were portrayed on the show. Definitely worth checking around for post-airing interviews across the board – one of the most common gripes was producers encouraging preppers to choose ONE EVENT that they were preparing for. I don’t get it, it’s apparently boring for anyone to have a well rounded, prepare-for-the-worst approach to their planning, and instead we’re treated to far too many crackpot doomsday scenarios. Seriously, who at NatGeo has a hard-on for cataclysmic polar shifts? Every episode, there seems to be a wealth of improbable scenarios with absolutely no basis in science or historical precedent.

The other highlights from episode 5 for me was tinfoil hat Preston White’s impressive seed bank (11,000 in reserve!) and portable quick-assemble tent shelter (the image of him playfully spinning around inside the tent like Laura Ingalls, pitching the audience: “Safe for your Family!” will be lulz-worthy for a long, long time). The HHO Generator that a friend brings by was also pretty neat, although the cosmetic rope lights gave it about as much appeal as a neon-pimped 98′ Civic – Flux Capacitor it ain’t. Riley Cook is a metalworker who fabricates bunkers – but the watertight pull cart beast he made was even more impressive to me – crafted from aluminum and weighing a paltry 100lbs, he can actually haul 9 times his body weight by himself and the thing even floats and can act as a mini barge and cross water if necessary. Practical awesomeness.

Finally, we managed to find out who the ‘experts’ were on this show, and i’m not disappointed at all. You can check out their Youtube channels here and here, which are chock full of prep information. In one self interview, Scott Hunt (Engineer775) even laments NatGeo’s decision to name the show Doomsday Preppers, regretting they couldn’t name the show ‘American Preppers’ or something that might engender more regard and respect than shock value. Unfortunately, we also discovered that the Expert Analysis that they provide is done almost as an afterthought – they only work with what the producers give them and never actually meet the characters on location. Now I don’t blame the experts, if I were as serious and established as they were, I’d not trade airtight OpSec for 15 minutes of fame – but I’d still rather see NatGeo find a bullpen of experts that could be far more involved in the shows production and execution.

All in all, the latest episode was the tightest so far, so I’m curious to see what they have for the remaining 4 episodes and how they approach next season. The addition of Doomsday Bunkers will at least provide some contrast and motivate better production. We seem to be finding a fair amount of likeminded people who have been putting out similar criticisms: the content is great, we’re all interested, now its time to take responsibility and recognize that prepping as a movement has more value in its information than its entertainment value.

Epic Analysis: The State of End Times in America (Survey Results)

Yesterday National Geographic published the results of its end times survey, perhaps the largest such survey done to date. It’s all part of their promotional push for the watershed end times TV series Doomsday Preppers. The venerable media outlet polled over 1,000 American citizens to probe their preparedness for disaster, and their perception of how it may come about.

The expanded query results are beyond interesting, at least to us. In fact, we’re so beside ourselves with excitement poring over these results, we’re going to take a look at every one of the 19 questions asked in the survey. More importantly, we’ll draw conclusions from the answers, which are quite illuminating to the overall sentiment of the U.S. human race as it faces imminent extinction. Honestly, National Geographic is doing the Lord’s work here as far as we’re concerned, and we can’t say enough good things about their spot-on questions and significant sample size. Please note these questions and answers are emphatically paraphrased to be concise and comical — go here for the real deal document.

Q: How will shit hit the fan in the U.S. in the next 25 years?
A: Three-quarters thought a significant earthquake or hurricane was guaranteed, we think the odds are closer to 100%. Terrorism and financial collapse was a 50/50 proposition, which is ridiculous. Odds of a significant terrorist attack are far lower in reality, while financial collapse has already occurred and is ongoing. At the end of the spectrum, only 13% thought a SHTF event was unlikely to occur at all… I guess the world still has optimists.

Q: What Hollywood blockbuster most closely depicts how the human race will bite it in the next 25 years?
A: The biggest majority hovers in the one-third territory for The Day After Tomorrow, Armageddon and 2012. Are you people insane? I guess if only given Hollywood blockbusters as choices, one is a bit limited in depictions of reality. Where is The Road or A Boy and His Dog?

Q: Is there even a grain of truth in the 2012 catastrophe predictions?
A: Three-quarters say unlikely, with half committing to extremely unlikely. OK, so there are still some sane people on the planet. While we believe 2012 could be bad — even one of the worst — we’re not convinced the year necessarily has anything to do with it. On the other hand, a whopping 27% said it was likely, so we take back what we said. You 27% are absolutely right, here comes the end, please buy a 2012 shirt before you go. For the 76 respondents who said a 2012 apocalypse, at least in part, was “extremely likely”… where have you been all our lives?

Q: If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do?
A: We’re honored that National Geographic essentially lifted the lead sentence of the Dead Unicorn band bio for this question. But seriously folks, the results are no surprise. A quarter want to kiss and make nice with loved ones gone astray, and of course bone like there’s no tomorrow. In fact, more people were concerned with getting their freak on than getting their essential life-sustaining resources like food and water on.

Q: How soon will a major world catastrophe happen?
A: Results are pretty evenly split here amongst soon (next 4 years) and 20+ years from now, with two thirds convinced the SHTF in two decades or less.

Q: When this SHTF, whose fault will it be?
A: Survey says… 71% Mother Nature, 29% us. Ahem… we think they’re not giving ourselves enough credit for being able to wipe us off the map. Still, nobody fools with Mother Nature.

Q: Compared to the rest of Americans, are you prepared for catastrophe?
A: Half of respondents consider themselves average. One quarter each consider themselves more or less prepared. We think the ‘average’ preparedness people are far underestimating what it takes to actually be prepared.

Q: Is it better to have a 401k or 401 MRE’s?
A: While almost 60% want the perceived financial stability of a 401k, a healthy 41% would prefer storable foods and shelter from disaster as a long-term investment.

Q: How have you prepared for SHTF?
A: Almost half have done the obvious, like stocking food, water, batteries, fuel… one-third have acquired basic survival supplies and skills. Only 10% or less have taken hardcore steps like finding their own water source and keeping livestock, though we expect that number to grow steadily as situations become more untenable.

Q: How long would you survive solo if you had to stay sheltered in place?
A: This question’s a bit useless because we think the only people qualified to answer this are preppers themselves. Thus, anyone who thinks they can stretch it to 60 days (a full 77%) is probably just guesstimating. If you’re a competent prepper stocked with supplies, you know you’ve got 2 months down pat, and more if necessary.

Q: How quick can you bug out with what you need to survive?
A: Half of people think they can get out in 30 minutes? The key phrase here is “what you need to survive” and in that sense I think respondents are grossly underestimating what that is. But of course the question itself is vague so the answers are tough to parse for meaning.

Q: Are all your ducks in a row right now if the SHTF?
A: Pretty much half and half here too, not much to say. Individuals aren’t often the best judges of their own preparedness.

Q: Why aren’t you prepared?
A: Forty percent can’t afford the supplies, while 27% aren’t informed enough. Well, at least there’s 27% we can help! A cocky 24% of survey takers don’t believe a catastrophe will happen. That’s a convenient excuse for being lazy.

Q: You’re buying a new house: Sub-Zero kitchen appliances or bomb shelter?
A: Jesus, 49% want the nuke shelter over the fancy fridge? We’re just as freaked out about this stuff as you are, but the odds of needing a bomb shelter or safe room are so low, and so much more expensive compared to convenience-of-life appliances. Prepare in moderation — today it’s much more likely you’ll be cooking for the next 25 years than be nuked.

Q: Pick one thing you’d want unlimited access to post-apocalypse?
A: As far as we’re concerned, the 45% who didn’t answer “water” deserve their Darwinian fate. Food, electricity, bullets, gas and batteries don’t go that far when you’re critically dehydrated after just days without water, the most essential resource for survival besides oxygen.

Q: Who do you share resources with post-apocalypse?
A: Have a heart, 74% are sharing with immediate family members. All down the answer grid, folks are reaching out to help others in big numbers on this poll. But let’s face it, in times of relative stability it’s easy to make such claims. When it all comes down, there’s no way even half of the respondents make good on their altruistic claims when faced with the brutality of impending death. Human nature has a dark side and these forged answers reflect our dedication toward hiding that fact from ourselves and the world.

Q: How prepared are most Americans?
A: Not surprisingly, 85% think Americans will generally be unprepared. It’s one of those fun studies in statistics when you look at the 85% stat and compare to the 49% who believe they are “as prepared as I think I need to be for a potential catastrophe”. The 36% difference represents a massive crowd of folks overestimating and/or overepresenting their true preparedness levels.

Q: Should we even bother preparing for catastrophe, or are we just fucked?
A: 36% say we’re fucked, there’s nothing you can do to really be ready. We understand the defeatism… in certain scenarios, these folks are unfortunately dead on the money. But there are plenty of other scenarios where we can survive and come out on top, even if that’s the exception tot he rule. We side with the 64% who believe one can do something to prepare for surviving a life-challenging experience.

Q: Would a Republican or Democrat increase the risk of terrorist attack or economic collapse?
A: The results were pretty much equal, as they should be. The end of the world isn’t right- or left-wing. Extinction knows no party. A terrorist attack, however unlikely, is isolated. The worldwide economic collapse is not beginning to be solved, it’s beginning to unravel. A cycle of consolidation and liquidation continues across international banking institutions and world governments, fueling the insatiable growth of a billion individuals. But that’s another blog post…